So, you’re walking through the woods, feeling a bit peckish. Oh look! A wild boar cuts across your path. You give chase, running in slow motion like Robin of Sherwood. As you near the animal you pull from your pack a cudgel, no – a bat, to render the beast senseless. You swing the bat down in an arc and take out the boar in one, painless crack. Obviously you can make fire with flint, dry pine needles and some dead wood. You roast the boar with skin on to create a perfect crackling, But something’s missing, something important. Pepper! You must have black pepper! You shout to the heavens for black pepper. What’s this? The bat you used to kill your porcine meal is, in fact, a Cole and Mason King Pepper Junior pepper grinder? It is! Genius! You grind out some black pepper and enjoy a perfect meal. As you gaze into the flames, fully sated, you resolve to move out of the woods.
Get yourself a little batchelor flat with a state-of-the-art kitchen. Maybe find a girl to share the food with. Do some home cooking with some top-notch utensils. You look at your Cole and Mason King Pepper Junior, and thank it for civilising you at last.